why

i'm still not in the mood to do anything.but still i need something to let out of my...urm..huh.(sigh)
do he know how much i miss him..i've be counting the days since he's busy.but then i stop because of something..i try to act there's nothing happen by doing choirs,work anything..but his resemblance keep haunting me.i want to share story with him,but he's not there...i want to have that chit chat momen that we use to,but he's not there..there's something that kept us apart whenever i need him.i understand.so i keep all my sorrow to myself.let me face it alone,let me swallow all the sadness alone.how can i keeping up??keep lying to myself..keep telling him i'm okay,i'm happy..and his life is more important than mine..

i want to have this talk with my most beloved babes.but..i'm just too afraid that i might overload my problem to them.and they must think i'm just using them when syaz is not around.i dont want they to think bad..so i keep it all to myself again.i cry and cry without shy,without anyone to calm down,without anyone to hear to..then,i get sick of myself..i'm down.there use to be syazmin who always there..but he's busy without knowing me i'm sick,alone,and suffering to think where is he,is he miss me,did he think of me..blablabla..i'm afraid that i might lose him because of his psyhco ex-girlfriends.too much of thinking huh..that's me.

with my holz is still on..i just live my life struggle to survive at home.now i know why faiqa used the panadol to calm her..i know how bad it can affect people.because i once use these to let my probz go away..and now i'm using it back.just to calm me and let me forget what am i facing now..syaz i really love you.i dont know if u trust it or not..you might think i'm just over-react..dont blame yourself.you're perfect for me.you're my idol.you're my love.if you want to point the blame,it's me.i know..i'm so over-addicted to you.and just making up porblem to you.i promise right..i wont buzzing around in ur life.you could do anything.i wont get upset..i wont felt depress.i'm hopeless forgive me.dont leave me.i love you so much.